A note to myself

I had a hard time growing up and some events that happened in my life have truly scarred my soul. I think the fact that I don’t think I have never known true unconditional love is really what breaks my heart. I never learned to love myself and from a young age I was taught that being overweight is the ultimate offense and it outweighs all personality traits and personal worth. I wish I could go back in time and hug myself and tell myself that I would be okay and my weight has nothing to do with my accomplishments in life. I had such a horrible time growing up with the judgement of my family on my weight that I was convinced nobody could love or would ever love me. Eating became a task because I was always self conscious that people were silently judging me for eating; like  because I was fat  I shouldn’t eat at all. My dad would always give me dirty looks when I would say I was still hungry after a meal or make snide comments on my weight. I’ve hid food, I’ve skipped meals, and worst of all I’ve legitimately tried to starve myself. I’ve definitely come a long way from that but it’s still very hard for me to look in the mirror and fully believe that I’m beautiful. I learned that the only person that I need to be concerned about loving me is me. But it’s hard to instill that belief in myself because I’ve been called many things in my life but never, ever beautiful. I have been called many ugly names not only concerning my weight but also my hesitance with opening up myself to people. I was always known as the shy girl who never spoke in school and I wish I could go back in time with some of the confidence I have worked so hard to build. I had too much to offer to sit in the back and not speak. I should’ve realized that I’m strong and I don’t have to care if people don’t like me. If they don’t like Haley for who she is then they don’t deserve her. I’m not the shy, reserved person they think I am. I should’ve grabbed life by the horns and done everything I wanted to do in life. I wanted to continue orchestra but I was scared of wearing the dresses at concerts because the sleeves were too short. So I quit and that is one of my biggest regrets. I should’ve owned up to my body. Yes, I have stretch marks. I have rolls. I have a double chin. I have thick thighs. I have back fat. I know this. But I also know that I’m smart, funny, kind, compassionate, empathetic, and strong. I am so very strong. And while most of the time looking in the mirror I am unhappy, I take baby steps towards a happiness I know I can achieve. Those words repeatedly said to me have left scars that hopefully can fade with time and positivity.


a gay man portraying a straight man forcing a lesbian actress playing a lesbian to focus on a hot dude’s dick

ladies and gentleman, American Horror Story. 


Lisa Simpson at Stuff-n-Hug


Here’s some of the best senior quotes from my school’s yearbook for this year…


this is the best fucking song that has ever graced my ears I haven’t even faced a potential breakup as bad as Aly & Aj’s but everytime I hear this song I want to go fucking kick somebody in the crotch for doing me wrong and ignoring me on my stupid birthday god damn I fucking love this mid 2000’s pop song so much


when teachers actually start teaching on the first day of class



Complaining to my parents like



When I was upset or suffering from a terrible day, nothing cheered me up more, even for a minute, than watching this man’s films or watching his interviews online. There is no way you could not laugh or crack a smile and his comedic nature. Thank you Robin. 


This is tumblr in a post

I’ve discovered there’s a lot you can do inside haunted houses.


For example, you can:

  • be in a shampoo commercial


  • start a boy band:


  • spot some choice booty:


  • break into song:


  • see some people in frankly offensive outfits:


  • attend a metal show:


  • listen to some sick jams:


  • discover zombieism:


  • sample some tasty snacks:


  • watch someone get burned bad:


  • find something you really like:


  • find something you really, really like:


  • find something you REALLY REALLY LIKE:


  • and wonder if you left the stove on:






please watch this ad for a squirting dildo called Buster McNut


choosing not to watch this will mean you cannot have a satisfactory day

I don’t know what I expected

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